FINAL BOSS OF DARK DAWN: TWO NON-ADEPTS WE ALREADY BEAT AND A WEREWOLF

-Chalis drops before doing anything other than a normal physical attack
-Blados uses his Omnislash (I mean Punish) to instakill Amiti once but is otherwise about as harmless
-once both of them drop, we leave the fight and go to another cutscene, where they take advantage of all the dark Psynergy being at the focal point of a big-ass magnifying lens flooded with light affords them to amp up the control of Volechek. I mean the Chaos Hound. except its Volechek
-"We can't let Matthew's whelps win! If we're absorbed, so be it!" and then Blados and Chalis accidentally fused with Volechek and now we have a real final boss
-Kraden offers one last "are you sure you're up to this challenge" yes/no prompt. damn, should've tried Retreat there. it probably wouldn't have worked though
-now it's a Chaos Chimera, with four arms, one with Blados' katana and another with Chalis' clawed gauntlet. I think I'll have to rely on a strategy of "spam regular attacks and occasionally use Pure Wish" here
-oh wait it has Djinn Blast. damn, I have to use actual strategy and stuff. maybe. actually screw it I don't wanna switch anyone out yet, just go ham at them Matthew you'll probably be fine
-it also has Retribution, a wide-scale physical attack that can instakill, and Shadow Clash, aka Cruel Ruin. curiously, it also relies on items like firecrackers and psy grenades, which I for one think is very neat and flavorful

ANYWAY WE BEAT IT WITH SVETA AT HALF DJINN

-just had people stick on the front row even after Djinn Blast, defending if I didn't think they'd take a beating. it worked. screw you Camelot my strats are unbeatable and I won't use Tyrell
-"As he was nobly sacrificing himself, we used Dark Psynergy to... hm... "save" him." and thats why Volechek is a Chaos Hound now. everyone knows its Volechek now by the way
-anyway Volechek is now too dark-aligned to survive without the Grave Eclipse. Kraden remarks that we could think of a way to save him if we had more time, but as Sveta bravely comments, we do not
-she kind of noticed the whole thing where everyone is dying while the Grave Eclipse is going on, and knows that Volechek has a responsibility to his people.
-"You did not grow up as royalty, Karis. You... would not understand." this is a pretty brave thing of Sveta to do, even if she's trying to pass it off as Volechek's choice sort of, which it really isn't
-anyway Sveta's going to go grieve while Matthew heads into the full blast of the Apollo Lens to turn it on. this seems like your responsibility Sveta, are you going to do something about this
-nope, they're just gonna let Matthew climb up the ladder and get blasted down twice like a dumbass lemming, leaving Alex of all people to telepathically tell him to knock it off

LISTENING TO ALEX HAS NEVER BEEN A BAD IDEA

-needless to say, Matthew goes right on up the ladder again and gets blasted off a third time, getting Blados to chime in and say we might as well give up
-this is a really stupid scene that could be easily fixed by Sveta getting up for maybe three seconds to help us, especially since she's already accepted Volechek's death
-alternatively, Matthew can be respectful of her wanting to say one last goodbye to her brother and not jam his entire body into a solar frying pan
-oh wait, the actual reason she can't do it, which was not elaborated on until now, is that even the exposure she's already received, plus the fight with the Chaos Chimera, has exhausted her. gee it sure was nice of Camelot to show this exhaustion a whole zero times before now
-"Matthew, please help me. I need to borrow your strength to reach the Apollo Lens." okay but why Matthew
-"Will you help her?" okay y'know what? no. no I will not help Sveta. I want to see a but thou must broken and I want it yesterday
-"I cannot walk by myself. Please - I need your help." no break. damn. okay fine I'll be your skeleton for today

NYEH HEH HEH

-oh wait, not skeleton. ghost. oh.......
-anyway Matthew's ghost helps Sveta because I don't even fucking know at this point, giving her enough vitality to walk around like nothing happened. this, of course, gets zero explanation as well, but now Sveta can go talk to everyone here and we can control her directly
-everyone's trying to talk her out of this, including Chalis (probably sarcastically), except for Eoleo of all people, who seems to recognize that Matthew's kept her afloat, to use his words. Eoleo is just the best character. Sveta is of course a close second
-by using Spirit Sense I can mind read everyone here, confirming that Chalis is in fact trying to steal the Umbra Gear even as she's beaten, Kraden and Himi have deduced/sensed that Matthew's helping Sveta through ghost magic, and Tyrell can detect mind reading like any other adept. A for effort, Tyrell
-Volechek's thoughts are simple: Death...is...coming...
-Sveta's talking to Matthew as she climbs to the controls, saying that their deaths will be a small price to pay for the safety of Weyard, which would be a little more meaningful if Matthew had an actual choice in the matter or if they were to actually die (spoilers)
-at the last second, Volechek jumps up to the controls, punching Sveta down. our ghost makes it back to our body fast enough to regain control and catch Sveta because gentleman points or something
-see? Volechek's the only one who does the heroic sacrifice. no probalo. he aims the Lens at Luna Tower, canceling out the Grave Eclipse.

FAST FORWARD TO BELINSK CASTLE

-no answer for what happened to Alex or the Tuaparang, of course. just "you're in Belinsk now"
-Matthew's pacing angrily outside the castle, probably because Sveta's in there or something. Karis and Tyrell are the only ones present with him, because anyone we actually wanted on our team had actual things to do
-unfortunately Sveta was meeting people at the city gate, not the castle gate. I blame Tyrell, as usual
-everyone's waiting there, in fact. why did we separate in the first place if this is the goodbye party? hell if I know. pacing is hard
-people all over Morgal have come together to thank Matthew and the crew for saving them, well, nice to be appreciated, I guess
-everyone's basically going back to their old places. Eoleo's going to try to keep Champa alive for maybe two seconds without his dad, Himi's going back to Yamata to give her character a second revision, Amiti's going to try to figure out JUST WHO IS HIS DAD ANYWAY (real talk it was nice of the writers to leave that to inference), and Rief's going to wander the world, learn things, and give people really bad railroading advice
-and credits roll. this doesn't get a separate header because there's one last scene and that gets an entire separate rant section, trust me
-the credits display a montage of a few key cutscenes that happened through our travels, stuff like Arangoa Prelude, the Mountain Roc, meeting the Waelda, you get the idea
-but near the very end, once the montage has long stopped, something appears: a Psynergy Vortex

WELCOME HOME YOU DUMBASS

-Tyrell and Karis are happy to be home, but Matthew sees something very alarming indeed near his old home
-he wordlessly points out from the bridge, and his friends follow to see a colossal Psynergy Vortex, bigger than any they've ever seen
-The End...?
-CAMELOT YOU HALF-BAKED DOUGH ORB RAILROAD BLACKSMITHS
-THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A CLIFFHANGER. WE WENT LITERALLY ALL THE WAY ACROSS ANGARA LOOKING FOR A FEATHER SO WE COULD FIX A HANG-GLIDER OUR DUMBASS FRIEND BROKE
-AND THEN RATHER THAN DOING THE SANE THING AND COMING HOME WE WENT AND STARTED, AND THEN LATER AVERTED, AN APOCALYPSE THAT COVERED BASICALLY ALL OF EAST ANGARA
-WHEN WHAT WE WOULD REALLY MUCH RATHER HAVE BEEN DOING WAS INVESTIGATING THE PSYNERGY VORTEXES YOU DANGLED IN FRONT OF OUR NOSE AS A TANGIBLE THREAT AND THEN COMPLETELY FORGOT EXISTED FOR THE REST OF THE GAME
-YOU DO NOT GET TO DROP THAT ON US AS YOUR DRAMATIC REVEAL CLIFFHANGER ENDING. I DON'T KNOW WHO RAISED YOU BUT IF YOU'RE DOING THAT SORT OF THING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE ASSUMPTION YOUR AUDIENCE HAS A CONCEPT OF OBJECT PERMANENCE
-AND EVEN ASSUMING YOU WANT THIS TO BE YOUR CLIFFHANGER, WHAT EXACTLY DOES THAT MAKE THE ACTUAL RESULT OF ALL THE ADVENTURES WE HAD, MIGHT I ASK? OUR PARTY HAS ALL GONE HOME TO THEIR RESPECTIVE COUNTRIES, HAVING FOILED THE TUAPARANG'S PLANS, EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO THEM WAS LITERALLY NEVER ANSWERED
-ALEX, BLADOS, AND CHALIS DID NOT MAKE ANY APPEARANCES IN THE EPILOGUE, AND THEY WERE NOT SO BADLY WOUNDED AS TO BE KILLED, BUT IF YOU'RE TRYING TO SET THEM UP AS A MAJOR THREAT FOR VILLAINS, YOU HAVE BETTER OPTIONS, LIKE OH I DON'T KNOW, SEEING THEM AT THE OLD CABIN WITH ISAAC HELD HOSTAGE
-BY THE WAY ISAAC DOESN'T APPEAR THERE EITHER. WAS HE EATEN BY A PSYNERGY VORTEX? CAPTURED BY THE TUAPARANG OFFSCREEN? FUCKED OFF INTO THE WILDERNESS TO COMMUNE WITH ROCKS? COMPLETELY FINE IN HIS CABIN CASUALLY OBSERVING THE VORTEX OVER SOME TEA? NO IDEA! DITTO FOR GARET SINCE THOSE ARE THE ONLY TWO PLAYABLE CHARACTERS FROM THE FIRST TWO GAMES THAT MATTER APPARENTLY
-JUST WHAT IN THE COOKIES-AND-CREAM FUCKSICLE WAS THE POINT OF OUR ENTIRE JOURNEY IN THE FIRST PLACE? AND FOR THAT MATTER, WHY ARE WE RETURNING TO THE CABIN INSTEAD OF WHATEVER CAVE IVAN LIVES IN SINCE HE'S THE GUY WHO MAKES THE SOARWINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE? OH RIGHT, BECAUSE CAMELOT FORGOT THAT TOO
-BUT NO, YOUR IDEA FOR A DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER ENDING INVOLVES NONE OF THE CHARACTERS WE KNOW TO BE VILLAINS OR CRITICAL ALLIES, NO AFTERMATH OF THE EVENTS WE PERSONALLY HAD A HAND IN, IT'S JUST "REMEMBER THAT THING THAT WAS A PROBLEM? REMEMBER HOW YOU DIDN'T GET ANY OPPORTUNITY WHATSOEVER TO DO A THING ABOUT IT? IT'S STILL A PROBLEM! TO BE CONTINUED!"
-GIVE ME BACK MY AGENCY YOU SWINDLING SWIVELING SCRIBBLENAUTS
-AND THE NEXT TIME YOU SPEND EIGHT THOUSAND WORDS ON A SUBJECT, TRY MAKING THEM WORDS THAT ACTUALLY ILLUMINATE THE SUBJECT AT HAND, OR DEVELOP CHARACTERS WITH ARCHETYPES OTHER THAN "STUPID IDIOT WHO NOBODY SHOULD EVER LIKE" INSTEAD OF WEIRD WORLDBUILDING ELEMENTS FOR ENTIRELY UNRELATED CHARACTERS OR EVENTS
-FOR BONUS POINTS, DON'T BOTHER WITH SILENT PROTAGONISTS UNLESS THEY CAN PROPERLY CONVEY THE SAME EMOTIONS THE PLAYER WOULD HAVE. LETTING US PICK OFF OF AN EMOTION MENU IS A GOOD START EXCEPT FOR WHERE WE'RE STILL LIMITED TO PANTOMIME AS INTERPRETED BY OTHER CHARACTERS! THIS JUST MANGLES THE SELF-INSERTION YOU COULD GET OUT OF A SILENT PROTAGONIST IN FAVOR OF GIVING THEM A CHARACTER OF YOUR OWN DESIGN WHO CAN'T TALK 
-you get credit for Eoleo, Sveta, and Amiti, at least. maybe Ryu Kou and Hou Zan.
-if Himi had any time for cutscenes where she as a character did things instead of her brain rock, she'd probably be great, but that never happened. instead we got about eighty separate instances of "Tyrell is awful" and "Karis can't interpret Matthew's ellipses to save her life"
-anyway the story of Dark Dawn is fucking terrible. the gameplay had some marginal improvements in a few areas, especially field puzzles, but they forced a lot of tutorials and the gameplay, if anything, became overall easier. I think Dullahan's HP got inflated but you're out of your fucking mind if you think I'm fighting Dullahan.
-I win. Camelot sucks. don't make another sequel until you learn to write. bye